This semester, I went through recruitment for a professional coeducational business fraternity called Delta Sigma Pi. It was founded in 1907 by four men at the New York University School of Commerce, Accounts, and Finance, and the chapter at the University of South Florida (USF) was founded in 1971. In 1975, it became a co-ed fraternity because the founders saw that there was an increasing role of women in the business world and saw that as a valuable social change.
I went through the rush events, the application, and the interviews. I did it all. Come February 16th, I got an email saying that I did not receive an invitation to the Pledging Ceremony. I was heartbroken and ended up crying at work that night and for days to come. I think it was even more devasting seeing my boyfriend get a phone call saying he had been accepted, knowing that as the night drew on, I would not be receiving a call. I'm in a place now where I'm coming to terms with the fact that I did not get in, and I'm learning to accept that my boyfriend's life is going to change as he goes through the pledge classes and as he gets initiated as a brother. I'm learning to accept that he's going to be talking about it to me and will now be spending less time with me as he will be spending time with these brothers and his new family.
Here are five things I learned after going through recruitment and being denied a spot in this prestigious fraternity:
I am at the age and place in my life where I can no longer go into things unprepared and expect everything to work out.
With recruitment, I did not properly prepare myself for the professional networking, the attire, or the interviews.
Honestly, I didn't know how to network properly. I'm more introverted and meeting new people has always been hard for me. I tried to network with people, but some of the brothers were more intimidating than others. I love them all, but I felt more welcomed by the relaxed girls who had warm and inviting presences, so I stuck by them more than networking with everyone. I'm grateful for all the connections I have now, but having those connections and keeping up with them are two different stories. As I progress throughout the rest of the semester and over the summer, I plan to keep in touch with these brothers.
I was not prepared to be in professional attire as much as I had been during my month of recruitment. I have two blazers and one is bright blue. As I prepare for my next round, I'm going to find new pieces to incorporate into my professional attire (including shoes, because my beautiful platform heels hurt my feet unfortunately). This includes blazers, which I think the key is to thrift them. That's where the Senior Vice President got hers, so I might need to follow her lead.
Finally, the interviews threw me off my game. I didn't prepare, I was going to go in there and wing it. That is the complete opposite of what I'm going to do next time. Now, I have six months to prepare for the interviews and recruitment. Six months to find my why and to prepare answers. These six months will fly by, but I will spend them preparing.
I can be proud of those who got in that I befriended along the way, but still feel upset about my loss.
We know that my boyfriend went through recruitment with me and made it further than I did. Outside of that, I made friends with people who are on the same side as me, but also those who made it further than I did. For those who didn't get in, I feel you. I see you. And if you try again next semester, I will be right there alongside you and I'll be praying for us to make it in this time!
I am so proud of those people who I've met and gotten to know who got an invitation! Delta Sigma Pi is prestigious and I heard from one of our brothers that our chapter, Theta Phi, is one of the top chapters in the nation. These friends of mine should be able to flaunt it! They deserve to tell people and show their pride.
Despite that feeling of pride for them, I still feel upset for myself. I put time and energy (and gas, as a commuter student who lives an hour away) going to the rush events. It feels like a part of me was taken away and I didn't even get far. I was busy envisioning a life where I got in that I couldn't think of a reality where I didn't.
Failure is a part of life.
I've been a very successful person so far. I've been inducted into four honor societies, received over 20 awards, hold a 3.76 GPA in my senior year, and am currently working on my third degree. On top of that, I've been Student Government President, and have been Co-President and Secretary of the Human Services Club. I've held multiple leadership positions. Failure wasn't an option. Until now.
This is the first time really where I've failed. And I know I haven't failed, I just didn't get in. But in my eyes, I did fail. Success after success after success... just to get knocked down? Within the same week as this rejection, I got rejected by the company I wanted to work for. Two rejections in one week. Wow, it's like I'm not good enough. Getting these rejections really knocked my confidence down a couple of rungs.
I have to sit here and remember that these rejections do not define me. God has a plan for everything, including every interaction and rejection. Our plans are in His hands, and that's something I constantly have to remind myself of.
I can always try again next semester. It does not mean it's the end of the road for me.
I have six months until the next recruitment season. We know I'm going to prepare for this. I already started a notebook to figure out my why and to start defining these answers.
I have to remember that I was thrust into this and wasn't able to figure out those answers. That's okay. I'm grateful for the opportunity to go through this and to be able to learn. It allows me to properly prepare for the next go-around.
I belong in business.
YES MA'AM!!! Let me tell you, in my freshman year of college at my previous institution, I was a business major. Wild, I know, but I didn't know I could do videography as a major. Plus, I was 18 and fresh out of high school. Who truly knows what they want to do then? Some people have callings, like me and videography, but how we can get there is the hard part. Anyway, I could not sit through my Intro to Business Zoom class in Spring 2022, so I dropped it 15 minutes into the class and signed up for something different. I told my girls that I was no longer a business student.
Going into recruitment, I felt like an imposter. The first event I partook in was Shark Tank and Cole, as a shark, is over here asking about balance sheets and ROI and I'm sitting in my chair confused as heck because "What is this stuff? I'm not a business student." It took until the following week that I realized I am a business student. How? I was learning the exact same thing as my Business Management major boyfriend: descriptive, predictive, and prescriptive analytics. He's in a data analytics class and I'm in an audience analytics class. I think the only difference is that my class is geared towards social media (I could be wrong).
I belong in the business world. I am a business student. Sure, I might go to the Zimmerman School of Advertising and Mass Communications instead of the Muma College of Business. I still belong in the business sphere as a communications student, because every business uses communications in some respect. Every business needs communications, whether internal or external, and that's where I come into play, even despite my video and documentary production specialization.
My story with the Theta Phi chapter of Delta Sigma Pi is not over. I plan to go through recruitment again in the fall semester and I will be properly prepared this time. I will be a DeltaSig. I know this because flowers grow during the rain, and growth happens during the pain. I have resources now and I have connections.
So with all that being said, wish me luck for my next round! I'll update you in the fall with how recruitment goes. đŸ˜‰