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Experiencing Homesickness
Experiencing Homesickness
I experienced homesickness for the first time in the summer of 2021 when I went to California after graduation with my best friend to visit her family. I had never traveled away from my family, and I had never been on a plane. I successfully checked both of those off my bucket list at just 18. It was a 10 day trip to Orangevale, and I was excited to be able to explore a new place. What I didn't know is that 4 days in, I'd experience my first bit of homesickness. I missed my family and I missed my high school boyfriend. But 10 days later, I went back onto a plane, flew out of California, and back home, all alongside my friend.
Now, 4 years later, I do it all again. But this time, it's not to California, and it's by myself. In mid-May, I embarked on an 8-hour overnight flight after waiting at my layover stop for 6 hours due to delays. I flew over an ocean, almost 5,000 miles away from my home, to stay in the home of people I didn't know, with students I hadn't met either for 7 weeks. Welcome to studying abroad. My program is hosted in Barcelona, Spain. And we are currently halfway through week 3 out of 7. Saying it like that freaks me out, because how did I manage to already be here for this long?
Don't get me wrong, Barcelona is a beautiful city with so many places to visit, such as the cathedral in the Gothic Quarter, Cuitadella Park, and Sitges Beach. But what no one warns you about is the homesickness, especially if you don't travel often. My first night in Barcelona, I bawled my eyes out on my bed quietly, so neither my host family nor my roommates could hear me. It hit me so quickly when I learned that this is my home for the next 7 weeks, and that I was not prepared for it. I thought I was, I mean, I did all the orientations set up by Barcelona SAE in the weeks prior to me leaving. But homesickness is not something you can prepare for.
I'm halfway through week 3, and I have exactly a month left in the program. The longer I stay here, the easier it gets. Not by much, honestly. I still managed to cry multiple times this week already. But there's something different than day 1. Now, I have friends. I have people who genuinely want to hang out with me on this trip (because let's be real, not everyone in my program wants to hang out with me). And that makes everything okay. Because now my weekends will be filled with fun adventures around Barcelona and Spain, with people who matter. With people I genuinely see myself talking to once this program ends and we go back to America.
If you're debating about that trip, take it. Whether it's money, homesickness, or being by yourself, take the trip. Money will come back, but time won't. Homesickness will always be there, but your family will understand. Being by yourself is inevitable in this life at one point or another, but you will find your people, in every moment you think you'll be alone. I did, in every moment. Sometimes, it takes longer than you'd like it to. But when I went to a new middle school that everyone else wasn't going to. 1 month. A new high school where everyone else isn't going to. 2 months. To college, where everyone started to disperse. 1 year. A new university after my associate's. 8 months. This trip. 2 weeks. I entered alone, but came out with friends. If you're scared of being alone, take my experience as a lesson that it won't be forever. And learn that it's okay for people to come and go in your life. "Take the trip" is the one thing I learned from this experience. Because you'll regret it if you don't.
(Also, happy birthday to my dad! I'm missing both his birthday, which is today, and Father's Day because I'm abroad, but he told me to go live my life anyway. You also taught me to take the trip.)
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